Giving Birth with a Little Help from my Friendly Parts

In anxiety, Dr. Dick Schwartz, IFS and childbirth, IFS Training, Internal Family Systems, Israeli Palestine Womens Peace, Mindfulness, Palestinian Women, Psychotherapy, Uncategorized on April 17, 2010 at 7:37 pm

By Mary Mula (a Druze Arab woman who lives in Israel)

 In 2008 I had a miscarriage. It was a girl. After two boys I was so hopeful and happy for a couple of months and so sad when I lost her. Just then Ann Bradney came to Israel . In her workshop I worked through the enormous sense of loss I felt and by the end surrounded by a circle of my supportive women friends from Beyond Words, I felt renewed, like I had just given birth to myself.

Mary at Beyond Words

In the middle of 2009 I became pregnant again with a baby girl and this time I carried her for the full term.. almost 10 days before the anticipated date I started feeling labor pains quite frequently. I went to the hospital and was admitted to the maternity unit. 38 hours later Gazel (words of love) was born.  It is not usual for the third birth to take so long and towards the end it was becoming more and more difficult. I decided to check inside myself and look to see if I could find a part that was avoiding this birth.

I met a part who was excited about the birth and could not wait to see her. I asked it to go into the waiting room. Then I met a part who was scared of the new responsibility, I listened and then asked it to also go into the waiting room. Finally I met a part that was afraid to give birth because it was too early by ten days and it was afraid that she would be too small and underweight. I listened to it and said I understood. I stayed for a while with the part that felt the fear soothing it. Then I explained to this part that it is going to be allright and that it can now relax. Two hours later I gave birth to Gazel, my beautiful baby girl..

Mary and Gazel

  The most wonderful part of IFS is that I can use it anywhere and anytime whether I am with friends, family, alone or in the middle of giving birth. Thank you Dick, Osnat, Einat and Nitsan….

 Submitted for publication by Nitsan Gordon – Giles MA, Director The Beyond Words Organization

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